i just google imaged poop.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My vagina just clenched in fear
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
