Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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