Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
