could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
