I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
