Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
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I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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