It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
