Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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