first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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