Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i would punch a child for taco bell
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
