We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
