You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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