you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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