i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
