So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
