Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
