just tell him i said nine months
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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