it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
