covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
