i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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