there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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