I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize