Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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