I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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