I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
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