i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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