Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
