I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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