Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
