Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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