just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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