i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
