The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
