I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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