Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Barsexuality is the new black.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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