I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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