thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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