im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize