ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
