The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
