he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She even gives head with a lisp.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
