I want to stick my p in your. b.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
