What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
