Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
