So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
