I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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