Say something about gay babies.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize