gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize