i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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