I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wish i was in the wii world.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
