Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
