well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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