In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
