I accidentally had phone sex last night
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize