I just pynch a tree in the face
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize