I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
