Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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