Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize