what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize