My nipple is on Facebook.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
