There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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